What Narcissistic Abuse Feels Like
Take a moment and imagine your reality has been skewed and distorted. You have been viciously gaslighted, manipulated, lied to, demeaned, and made to believe you are going crazy. The person you thought you knew, thought loved you, the spouse, significant other, parent, or family member didn’t exist. Your world has been shattered into a million pieces.
Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse inflicted by someone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
My Experience
Did you ever think about the actual indications that you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse? For most of us, we simply tolerate it, day after day, swallowing the hurt, the humiliation, and the confusion. It took me years to discover that my father didn’t have normal responses to confrontation, crisis, or even celebration. After my mother died, I kept chalking up his strange behavior as grief. But it only got worse.
Specifically, my father would:
Show up to his granddaughter’s birthday party an hour late
Leave a family dinner without saying goodbye
Sit in silence at a family dinner when he wasn’t the center of attention
Stop talking to all of us on a family vacation
Give all of us the silent treatment for weeks, months, or even years
Do you feel you’re going crazy because of a narcissist? Do you feel:
Belittled?
Lied to and when you question it, they get upset?
A sense of self-doubt, in fact, doubts about everything.
Stressed and anxious being around them?
They’ve been wearing a mask and then suddenly taken it off?
I felt these things too. I sought information and researched the behaviors. Googling his behaviors to figure out what was happening brought up huge red flags that something was seriously wrong. I kept thinking of something to compare his actions.
Is there someone in your life who demonstrates these behaviors to you?
Controlling behavior – narcissists need to control who you meet with, how you spend your money, whom you speak to or what you wear.
Isolation – narcissists naturally isolate their victims from friends and family. They are jealous of you spending time with anyone besides them and they don’t want you to expose their bad behavior.
Lack of Boundaries – boundaries are your personal rules and limits. Narcissists hate them and won’t respect yours. They will snoop in your phone, computer, and mail all because they don’t trust anyone.
Withholding – (check out my latest reel on this) - narcissists will withhold intimacy, affection, financial support, even conversation in an effort to obtain control in the relationship. It’s a master manipulation.
Gaslighting – narcissists use this technique to convince you that you’re reality is incorrect. You are remembering things wrong. They haven’t done any of the things you say.
What are the symptoms of narcissistic abuse?
You feel like you’re going crazy
You feel lost and out of control
You feel isolated from friends and family.
You have a sense of mistrust for everyone.
You have trouble making decisions at home, at work, and for the family.
You feel disrespected and disregarded.
You feel filled with shame and self-doubt.
You are experiencing a devastation you didn’t know possible
You have symptoms of anxiety or depression or unexplained physical symptoms.
Physical symptoms can include appetite changes, trouble sleeping, fatigue, and stomach problems. Remember, the manipulation and abuse are often so subtle, that others fail to recognize the behavior as abuse.
If you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse, it’s critical for you to talk to someone. You need to find clarity, comfort and validation. However, it’s important to talk to someone who gets it. I have experienced this insidious emotional abuse.
You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn't set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. It makes matters worse when you have family who normalizes your narcissistic parent’s behavior. I had family who said that’s just how he is, get over it. They wanted to continue to sweep everything under the rug.
Often, we stay in these cycles of abuse because we don’t believe we deserve something better. I kept trying to make our relationship work, but he didn’t want me in his life. It took me a long time to understand that I deserved better.
You deserve better, too.
I have a brand new program starting soon. Get more information here: https://www.lynncatalano.com/wrecking-ball-warriors
I help people every day. I can help you.
Don’t suffer in silence from narcissistic abuse, let’s talk.
Click here to book a free session with me.