- Lynn Catalano
Narcissists don’t want you to know
People who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) keep things from you. Sometimes it’s vital information, about their finances or about their plans. They like to keep things from you to remain in control. They are also known to withhold affection and intimacy. Click here to see my previous blog post about that topic.
There are, however, three (3) basic concepts narcissists just don’t want you to know.
1) Narcissists need you (more than you need them)
They never want you to know that they really do need you more than you need them. They need you for supply, and more importantly, they need you for their image. Their image is always more important than any relationship. They desperately need other people to desire what they have, see their perfect life including relationships and be envious.
People who suffer from NPD are also known as emotional vampires as they suck the emotions and life out of the people closest to them. They need people around them to pump them up and give them the necessary narcissistic supply.
All I ever wanted from my narcissist was for him to act like my parent. But that never happened.
2) Narcissists aren’t genuine about anything
Narcissists have no original thoughts, feeling, or identity. They copy other people. They lie all of the time. They lie to make themselves look better. They lie to pretend they’re compassionate. They actually believe their own lies. This is due to their false reality. They make promises they have no intention of keeping. They rarely tell anyone the truth. They may no longer see it as truth. They adopt the new truth to them.
3) Narcissists can’t love – it’s all conditional
Love is conditional to a narcissist. They love you because you provide them with something in exchange or do something for them. Narcissists only choose to be around people who benefit them in some way. They will leave you when you no longer provide benefit to them.
I look back and see that I was a prop for much of my life to my narcissist. He brought me out to enhance his image. I was in attendance to clap when he was presented an award. Yet, when I was honored at an event, he would not attend, on purpose. He said he was angry at the organization without any further explanation. Recently, when I spoke at a closing ceremony, one he religiously attended every year, he didn’t show. He didn’t tell me. I saved him a seat. He just didn’t show up. Then he called me, 2 ½ months later. Pretty typical with my narcissist. I’m only important when he needs a prop.
Narcissistic abuse is serious and detrimental to your physical, emotional, and mental health. Don’t suffer in silence. Talk to someone.