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  • Lynn Catalano

How does it feel to discover they’re a narcissist?

How does it feel to discover your parent, or your husband or wife, whom you trusted, doesn’t want anything to do with you, isn’t the person you thought they were? What feelings do you experience?

  • Shock

  • Betrayal

  • Anger

  • Rage

  • Sadness

  • Loss

I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”

“But now I found myself questioning everything. My journey learning about narcissism began because what I thought were feelings of loss and grief from my father slowly turned into confusion. I was doing the best I could to deal with my mother’s death, raise two young daughters, be a wife, and work full-time.

As time progressed, I didn’t understand what was happening with my father.

Was I going crazy? Nothing felt normal or at least nothing felt as it had my whole life until then. It felt like up was down and black was white. This couldn’t be right, could it? My father was a person I depended on, showed respect, and who held me to the highest standard. He wasn’t like this before, or was he? I was completely thrown off balance. I spent a lot of time asking myself questions that didn’t have any answers.”

Narcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse

You may feel any of the following:

  • Anxiety/depression

  • Short-term memory loss

  • Post-traumatic stress

  • Mood swings

  • Headaches, trouble sleeping

  • Loss of self-worth

Many victims of narcissistic abuse find themselves becoming people pleasers. This is a consequence of being in a toxic relationship and existing in a state of hypervigilance or “walking on eggshells.”

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Keep Hoping for Change

As I stated in an earlier blog post :

As the victims of narcissistic abuse, we just want to believe so badly that they feel the same way we do, we are willing to accept so much less. We just keep hoping they will see what’s right in front of them and change. But they won’t. They aren’t capable of change. You deserve better.

Remember narcissists are terrible at relationships because they care so little about anyone else. They have very low emotional intelligence. They are only concerned about their needs being met and when they’re not, they must move on to a new source. Their love will never be what you want or what you need. It will always be a wrecking ball relationship.

If you’ve suffered this type of relationship, it helps enormously to talk to someone. When you're in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to someone about your emotions and your trauma. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort. My program is results-oriented that’s quicker than therapy without extra analysis, just strategies to implement immediately. You could choose to do nothing and nothing will change or you make an investment in yourself. When is a good time to get started?

Learn more about me here:

Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.

You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and

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