Why You're Not Overreacting: The Hidden Reality of Narcissistic Abuse
- Lynn Catalano
- Jun 15
- 5 min read
"You're being too sensitive."
"You're overreacting."
"It wasn't that bad."
"You're remembering it wrong."
If these phrases sound familiar, you're not alone. And more importantly, you're not overreacting.
Let me stop you right there.You’re not overreacting. You’re reacting to a toxic pattern that’s been expertly hidden, downplayed, and dismissed — even by those closest to you.
The reality of narcissistic abuse is that it's designed to make you question your own perceptions, emotions, and memories. It's a deliberate strategy that leaves you doubting the very experiences that are harming you. Today, I want to validate what you already know deep down: your reactions are normal, your feelings are valid, and your experiences are real.
Narcissistic abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. It leaves doubt. It leaves confusion.
It leaves you questioning your instincts and losing pieces of yourself, one manipulation at a time.
🧠 The Gaslight Trap
Narcissists are master illusionists. They’ll deny what you saw with your own eyes, twist your words, or explode with rage — only to later act like nothing happened. This isn’t “normal conflict.” This is a strategic erasure of your reality.
When someone tells you you're overreacting to narcissistic abuse, they're unknowingly participating in the very manipulation that's been used against you. Here's what's really happening:
Your nervous system is responding appropriately to real threats. Narcissistic abuse creates genuine psychological danger. Your body and mind are reacting to protect you from harm—that's not overreacting, that's survival.
You're experiencing trauma responses, not emotional instability. The hypervigilance, anxiety, and intense emotional reactions you're having are textbook responses to psychological manipulation and emotional terrorism.
Your reality has been systematically distorted. After months or years of having your perceptions questioned, your memory challenged, and your emotions minimized, of course you're going to have strong reactions when someone validates your experience.
Over time, that warps your ability to trust yourself.
The truth? Their behavior is the problem. Your reactions are the evidence.
Narcissistic abuse rarely involves dramatic, obvious incidents. Instead, it's a slow erosion of your self-worth through:
Subtle put-downs disguised as jokes
Withholding affection as punishment
Moving the goalposts so you can never "win"
Triangulation that makes you compete for their attention
Silent treatments that leave you walking on eggshells
Each incident seems small, but the cumulative effect is devastating.
The Invisible Injuries Unlike physical abuse, narcissistic abuse leaves no visible marks. The wounds are psychological, emotional, and spiritual. You might look fine on the outside while dying on the inside. This makes it harder for others to recognize the severity of what you're experiencing.
Why Your Reactions Are Actually Appropriate
Let me be crystal clear: your reactions to narcissistic abuse are not only normal—they're appropriate and necessary.
You're reacting to real danger. Psychological abuse creates real trauma. Your brain doesn't distinguish between physical and emotional threats when it comes to survival responses.
You're grieving multiple losses. You're not just losing a relationship—you're grieving the person you thought they were, the future you planned together, and parts of yourself that were damaged in the process.
You're processing betrayal trauma. The person who was supposed to love and protect you became your source of harm. This creates a unique type of trauma that requires strong emotional responses to heal.
You're fighting for your sanity. When someone systematically questions your reality, fighting back with strong emotions is your psyche's way of protecting your sense of self.
🚨 So Why Do You Still Feel Like It’s Your Fault?
Because you were trained to.Narcissistic abuse conditions you to take the blame — for their bad behavior.
But here’s the truth: you can break the cycle. And you don’t have to do it alone.
🎭 Special Occasions Aren’t Safe Either
Think holidays, birthdays, weddings, big milestones...Narcissists R.U.I.N. & Wreck them on purpose:
Reroute attention to themselves
Undermine the joy of others
Initiate conflict to dominate the day
Neglect emotional needs
Wreck everything you hoped would be special
It’s not just your imagination. If every big day ends in drama or devastation, that’s not a coincidence — it’s control.
➡️ Learn how to stop the cycle in my self-led course, Narcissists R.U.I.N. & Wreck Special Occasions.
💥 Reclaim Your Power with The Power Back Path™
Recovery from narcissistic abuse isn't about becoming less reactive—it's about trusting your reactions and using them as information. This is what I call The Power Back Path™— a journey from victim to survivor to thriver.
The Power Back Path™ is my signature healing journey designed to help you:
✅ Rebuild self-trust after years of gaslighting
✅ Set boundaries without guilt or fear
✅ Stop attracting toxic relationships
✅ Finally feel safe, stable, and free again
It’s not therapy. It’s not fluff. It’s the step-by-step system that has helped hundreds of survivors take back their lives.
Phase 1: Recognition
Acknowledge that your reactions are valid responses to real abuse
Stop apologizing for having normal human emotions
Begin documenting patterns instead of dismissing incidents
Phase 2: Reclamation
Reclaim your right to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed
Rebuild trust in your own perceptions and memories
Set boundaries based on your emotional responses, not others' comfort
Phase 3: Rebuilding
Channel your emotional energy into healing and growth
Use your experience to help others who are still suffering
Create a life that honors your worth and validates your truth
✨ Choose your path:
💻 Break the Toxic Cycle – Self-paced, self-led freedom Enroll Now »
🤝 Guided Support – Course + coaching Book a Call »
👑 VIP Transformation – Deep 1:1 healing Apply Now »
📘 Want to Go Deeper?
📘 Start with my bestselling book, Wrecking Ball Relationships.
It’s the guide I wish I had when I was deep in the fog. You’ll see your story on every page — and know you’re not alone.
📓 Or journal your way to clarity with After the Wrecking Ball, my 30-day recovery journal.
Reflect, release, and rebuild — one page at a time.
💬 Final Word
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these words, know that you're already on the path to healing. The fact that you're questioning whether you're overreacting shows that you're beginning to trust yourself again.
Your reactions are not too much. Your feelings are not invalid. Your experience is not insignificant.
You are not overreacting—you're under-supported.
You are not too sensitive—you're appropriately responsive.
You are not the problem—you're the solution.
The Power Back Path™ starts with this simple truth: you have the right to react to abuse. You have the right to feel angry about betrayal. You have the right to grieve what was lost. And you have the right to reclaim your power.
Your healing journey is not about becoming less reactive—it's about becoming more responsive to your own needs, more protective of your own peace, and more committed to your own truth.
You're not overreacting. You're finally reacting appropriately to inappropriate treatment.
And that's exactly where your power begins.
Ready to walk The Power Back Path™?
Your journey to reclaimed power starts with validating your own experience. You're not overreacting—you're ready to take your life back.
Let’s walk the Power Back Path™ together.
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