Father’s Day is Another Holiday Narcissists Ruin

Updated: Jul 30

Narcissists have a very hard time at other people’s celebrations. They need to be the center of attention and of leadership and as a result they weaponize their aggression.

On holidays & family gatherings narcissists consistently:

Create drama where there wasn’t any
Show up late on purpose & leave without saying anything
Get jealous of you spending time with other people (even if those are relatives you haven’t seen in a long time)
Demand attention
If they don’t receive the attention, recognition, praise, and envy they need (narcissistic supply) they go into a narcissistic rage storm.

Father's Day With a Narcissist

Father’s Day is always tricky if your father or your husband is a narcissist. Their expectations are high, they need to be the center of attention and feel entitled to an abundance of gifts and special treatment. I was always searching for my father’s approval and his love. I didn’t get it. No matter what I did, it was never enough.

Father’s Day Failure

One Father’s Day, after my mother had died, I made a special dinner for my husband, my father, and my father-in-law. This was the first thing I did wrong that day. You see if it wasn’t all about my father, what was the point? He desperately needed to be the center of attention, not a co-celebrant. He was silent throughout dinner. After dinner, my daughters handed out the gifts. My mother-in-law read the card out loud to my father-in-law and they were both appreciative. Then my father opened his gift. He barely read the card and then mumbled a thank you. It was apparent that he was not happy. Another Father’s Day failure.

Not long after that, my father stopped talking to me and my children. Father’s Days became a quieter, more peaceful holiday for us. I could actually focus on my husband, who deserved everything the day offered. My husband showed me how a father’s supposed to act with his children.

Don’t be surprised if whatever you do, however hard you work, it won’t be enough for the narcissist in your life. The very best thing for you to do at a holiday celebration or family gathering with your narcissist is…do not engage. As difficult as this may be, it is for your own protection to stay away. Sometimes this even necessitates skipping the celebration all together.

Break the Trauma Bond for Good

Healing is an opportunity. It is critical to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse, as it can have long-term effects on your emotional, mental, and physical health. The narcissistic abuse cycle typically involves a period of love-bombing, where the narcissist showers you with attention and affection, followed by devaluation, where they criticize and belittle you. This cycle can repeat itself over and over again, leading to feelings of confusion and self-doubt. Enroll in my newest course – Trauma Bonds 101 where I will lead you through the narcissistic abuse cycle and show you how the trauma bonds are holding you back and how to break them for good.

Healing from long-term trauma takes time. Don’t stay in this kind of emotionally abusive relationship. It won’t get better. They won’t change. You don’t deserve this abuse.

You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn't set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly.

Often, we stay in these cycles of abuse because we don’t believe we deserve something better. I kept trying to make our relationship work, but he didn’t want me in his life. It took me a long time to understand that I deserved better.

You deserve better, too.