5 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent (And How to Heal)
- Lynn Catalano
- Sep 28
- 3 min read
Narcissistic Parents Leave Invisible Wounds
Growing up with a narcissistic parent leaves invisible wounds. You may look successful on the outside, but inside you feel like you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The patterns you learned in childhood often sneak into your adult relationships, career, and even how you talk to yourself.
If you were raised by a narcissist, it’s definitely had some impact on the way you see yourself and your role in the world. Maybe you have spent years trying to please or earn the recognition, respect, and love from a narcissistic parent only to be continuously let down.
Unfortunately, parent-child narcissistic abuse can have the most long-lasting effects
Here are five key things to be aware of — and what you can do about them.
1. You Struggle with Self-Worth
Narcissistic parents teach you that love is conditional. You may find yourself chasing approval, people-pleasing, or doubting every decision.
According to renowned narcissistic expert, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, the number one sign that a person was raised by a narcissist is chronically feeling like they are not enough.
👉 Inside Life Beyond the Narcissist™ Membership, I give you weekly steps to finally build real confidence from the inside out.
2. You Feel Responsible for Everyone Else’s Emotions
Children of narcissists often become “fixers.” You may feel guilty saying no or believe it’s your job to keep everyone happy.
👉 My book Wrecking Ball Relationships shows you how to dismantle those toxic patterns and free yourself from false responsibility.
3. You Self-Sabotage Success
Even when good things happen, part of you believes you don’t deserve them. This leads to procrastination, perfectionism, or letting opportunities slip away.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, your nervous system learns to:
Anticipate rejection or criticism. So, you cut yourself down before someone else can.
Fear standing out. Success can feel dangerous because it might trigger jealousy, manipulation, or punishment. The constant abuse conditions to feel this way
Seek chaos because it feels familiar. Healthy love, safety, and peace can feel “boring” or “wrong” — so you unconsciously chase the drama.
👉 In my framework, The Power Back Path™, I teach you how to break the cycle of self-sabotage so you can thrive in work, love, and family.
4. You Attract Toxic People
When chaos feels familiar, you may unconsciously gravitate toward narcissistic bosses, partners, or friends. Recognizing red flags early is crucial.
This is perhaps the biggest sign of all: You’ve had relationships with narcissists as romantic partners or friends. You may even have been targeted by narcissists in the workplace.
This is because you have a trauma bond from a past abusive relationship. The first abusive relationship for many victims, if not most, is with a parent.
👉 My self-led courses give you tools to spot manipulation and build boundaries that actually stick.
5. You Struggle with Special Occasions
Birthdays, holidays, and milestones may still feel tainted by your parent’s drama. Even as an adult, the pattern repeats.
👉 In my course How Narcissists Ruin & Wreck Every Special Occasion, I guide you through reclaiming your peace during these moments.
The Next Step in Your Healing
Awareness is the first step. But you don’t have to stay stuck in these patterns. Healing is possible — and I’ve created resources to guide you at every stage:
📘 Wrecking Ball Relationships → Start with understanding and clarity.
🎓 Self-Led Courses → Learn practical strategies at your own pace.
💼 The Power Back Path™ Coaching → Get personalized guidance for lasting change.
🌿 Life Beyond the Narcissist™ Membership → Weekly steps, group support, and resources to keep you moving forward.
👉 Your past may explain your pain, but it doesn’t define your future. Today, you get to choose differently.
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