It’s enough to have suffered narcissistic abuse from someone who was supposed to love you the most. It’s enough to go through the shock of not being able to trust this person. It’s enough to feel so trauma bonded to this person, you feel so embarrassed that you don’t tell anyone what’s happened. So, when you discover that your narcissist has created an elaborate cover story portraying you as the villain to your community, your friends and/or your family, it’s just too much.
People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder cannot process any kind of confrontation about their actions. They will never take responsibility and need to blame-shift. They turn the tables and make themselves the victim. If your narcissist is the overt type, who cares more about their image then any relationship, then they must implement the smear campaign.
What is a smear campaign?
The smear campaign is a tactic the narcissist uses to discredit anyone who dares expose their bad behavior. Smear campaigns are a form of damage control used by narcissists when they become aware that they have been exposed. Smear campaigns are frequently used to depict the former victim as insane, bipolar, addict, alcoholic, unstable, good digger, thief, cheater, or a poor parent.
What are some ways to protect yourself during a smear campaign?
1. Try not to engage
2. Hold your head high
3. Show your high emotional intelligence
4. Surround yourself with a support network of family & friends
5. Go no-contact
Take comfort in the fact that anyone who truly knows your narcissist will know these stories about you are untrue. Don’t let them see you sweat. Remember The Four Agreements and don’t take things personally. “Comments are a reflection of the commentator’s reality, not yours.” Don Miguel Ruiz believes that if we stop taking things personally, anger, jealousy, envy, and sadness can disappear.
Where would I be if I’d never written my book? My relationship with my narcissist would be in the exact same place. You see you can’t reason with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions. They think every time you talk about them hurting you, they become the victim. They’re always more concerned with you exposing their bad behavior than with having a relationship with you. That’s the most painful thing to realize. Their image is always more important than you.
Once you become vocal, expect the narcissist to begin their smear campaign against you. This will be the narcissist's story of lies, how you are crazy and unstable. Don’t forget – nobody is angrier than a narcissist being accused of something they definitely did.
Now that my narcissist has passed away, I often wonder what he has told people about me. But then I remember that the people who know me, know me. I recall the Four Agreements and focus on not taking things personally. My narcissist suffered from a personality disorder, he was disordered.
If you’ve suffered this type of relationship, it helps enormously to talk to someone. When you're in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to someone about your emotions and your trauma. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort.
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
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