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  • Lynn Catalano

New Year, No Narcissists

How do narcissists measure a year?

I wrote about this in my book Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”

“Jonathan Larson wrote the song “Seasons of Love” for his epic Broadway musical “Rent,” which he wouldn’t live to see on Broadway, reflecting on a life as sung at a funeral. He wrote about how we measure a year of our life, how we quantify our joy or our sorrow. Do we count the laughter or the tears? Larson’s chorus repeated the number of minutes in a year, 525,600 to be exact. He posed the question “How do you measure a year in a life? How about love?”

How do you measure a year? I’ve often thought about this concept, especially during the toughest times. I measure a year in the time I share with my husband and daughters and friends. I measure it in laughter, in experiences, in silly times, in trying times but always together. I measure a year in love. How do narcissists measure a year? Do they measure:

  • How many times their name was in the media?

  • How many awards they received?

  • How many times they were recognized casually?

  • In revenge?

  • In arguments?

  • Or in taking offense?

Being them must be exhausting and miserable. How can they focus on the positive when they’re always angry or playing one-upmanship games? They feel perpetually wronged and always seeking revenge.”

How will you measure 2023?

If time is the most valuable currency, where will you spend it? How long will you wait for your narcissist to change?

2023 is your year to finally do something for yourself. Take back your power and invest in yourself.

If you dream it, you can see it, and it will happen.

In the brain, there’s a bundle of nerves at our brainstem called the reticular activating system that filters out unnecessary information so the important stuff resonates. Did you ever notice when you learn a new word and then you hear it everywhere? Well, how about purposefully using your reticular activating system to create your New Year’s resolutions and see them happen. If you’ve been thinking about starting fresh in the new year or you’ve decided you are done with your toxic relationship, now is the time. Take the next step to protect your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Narcissists aren’t capable of change. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and I coach people on their healing journey. Let’s make your new year’s resolutions a reality, together.

Learn more about me here:

Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.

You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and

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