It’s not your fault. I know it feels that way, but you did nothing to deserve this treatment. People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder want you to feel that way as nothing is ever their fault. They also want you to feel completely isolated. Please be assured, you’re not alone and you’re not going crazy. You may find comfort in other people’s similar experiences and validation that you’re not alone. Their bad behavior isn’t your fault.
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“The first few times my father gave me the Silent Treatment, I felt confusion, abandonment, and rage. I tried all the strategies. I listened to his deflections, his gaslighting, and his hollow apologies. I tried to protect myself the best I could. I exercised, ate right, and even saw a professional therapist. I only wanted peace and did not attempt to retaliate. I didn’t seek revenge. I just wanted him to act like a father. We were on an unstoppable, emotional rollercoaster ride from one Silent Treatment to the next Silent Treatment climbing up steep inclines, hurtling straight downward, and careening around the corners. And to be perfectly honest, I hate rollercoasters.”
In order to protect yourself, try the following:
1. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries
The holidays are a wonderful time of the year, for most people. However, for some, the holidays are a time of high anxiety and stress. Violations of personal space or uncomfortable dinner conversations can turn into arguments.
Setting boundaries is a solution but they are not always easy to set.
You are the only person who knows when a boundary is right for you. It’s a huge red flag when someone has a negative reaction to the boundary you’ve set. It probably means it’s necessary. Remember, someone who respects you won’t make you feel guilty about setting boundaries.
2. Don’t forget that people don’t walk away from and abandon the people they love.
If they can just walk away, without another word, they weren’t your people. People abandon the people they were using. It was always conditional. The love wasn’t real.
3. Are you in a toxic relationship?
When you finally get to the place where you have no communication in your relationship, you know it must be toxic. Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue with the relationship.
Toxic relationships cause immense stress to our emotional, mental, and physical health. Talking to someone familiar with narcissistic personality disorder helps enormously.
Narcissists aren’t capable of change. Protect yourself and your mental health. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort.
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.