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  • Lynn Catalano

Narcissists Weaponize Facebook (& other social media)


Why do narcissists love social media?


Narcissists find endless amounts of narcissistic supply on social media. When they post an update, there is always someone out there to validate, reassure, praise or envy them.


Narcissists use social media in their arsenal of tools to hurt you when they are in the discard phase. They don’t want you in their life and they want everyone to see how horrible you are. Remember image is everything to them. They not only need people to see you are awful, they need people to see they are fabulous without you. And that is the primary reason they weaponize Facebook. Narcissists are incredibly vindictive and always seek revenge on anyone they have perceived an offense from or do not like.

Studies have also found that narcissistic people tend to have a large collection of Facebook friends, tag themselves in photos and frequently update their status.”


Outside of the obvious reasons narcissists love social media like outright bragging about their success or appearance or material things, they love to use it to shame or embarrass you. Perhaps to poke fun at you or as a tool to manipulate others.


In my experience, I’ve seen a number of examples of this behavior including my father’s Facebook hits.


Examples


  • One of my clients likes to post about their family, their dogs and their vacations. They have great affection for their animals. Their narcissist started copying their posts using new family members to purposely provoke a response from them. After a while, my clients blocked these family members on Facebook. They had just had enough of the intentional jabs.

  • Another one of my clients is in a terrible situation where they have been slowly cut from their daughter’s and granddaughter’s lives. The father of their granddaughter is using Facebook to hurt them. He is posting photos of “family time” with his family and their granddaughter to show them what “real family” looks like.

  • My father never posted about his only 2 grandchildren. He never commented on one photo I shared of them. You know, proud moments of childhood success: first lost tooth, soccer goals, dance competitions, etc. I shared photos of us picking cherries or at amusement parks, but he never commented. Then when a cousin who had been awful to me my whole life and my father was aware of it, posted a family photo, my father commented “Beautiful family.” What? Was this intended to hurt me? Mission accomplished.


Why do they do it?


Narcissists post content to deliberately get attention. Narcissists always say and do things to provoke a reaction out of you. Please don’t think that they post because they love you or miss you, they don’t. They just love to get a rise out of you and show you what you’ve lost. The best thing for you to do is block them on all platforms. This will help you begin your healing process. Remember, no-contact is freedom for you.


If you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse, you need to pay attention. If you do nothing, if you don’t address this trauma, it will bleed into every aspect of your life affecting how you show up for everything. The trauma takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. I know at the worst points in my relationship with my father, I had terrible insomnia, gastrointestinal problems, skin reactions, and more. This is why it’s so critical to talk to someone. But not just anyone. You need to find someone who’s familiar with narcissistic personality disorder. You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn't set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. When someone tells me about their struggles and their story, I’m not just understanding. I really get it. I’ve been there. I’ve felt those same emotions, that same rage, and loss.


I can help you.


Don’t suffer in silence from narcissistic abuse, let’s talk. Click here to book a free session with me. Don’t wait another day.



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