It’s normal to feel anxious
It’s really okay to feel anxious about seeing someone who’s been toxic to you. I used to start revving myself up weeks before the scheduled encounter. It’s very difficult to have to pretend to be all right with this person in a social setting.
Anxiety and depression are very common symptoms when you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse. The constant stress and persistent feelings of nervousness when you never know what to expect from someone.
Forgiveness
You may need to consider forgiving them. Not the traditional forgiveness you know. No, you will need to forgive this person (without communicating with them) in order to begin the healing process. I address this concept in my mini training, where I teach you how to begin the healing process and the importance of self-care. Check out my mini training here.
Forgiveness is for you, not them. It’s essential you find your peace of mind. This is true self-care for you. Forgiveness is about bringing you a sense of peace, releasing your grudges, and letting go of bitterness. This doesn’t mean reconciling or returning to your former relationship. Move on and let go.
I wrote about this feeling in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live with or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.” Below is an excerpt.
“My mother was and still is a massive influence on my life. At times of change, she’d reference a lesser-known poem by A.A. Milne, best known for creating the beloved literary character Winnie-the-Pooh. This was particularly fitting when I experienced anxiety about a transition – from elementary school to middle school or from high school to college. The poem is titled “Halfway Down,” and focuses on a moment when a person is stuck between the top of the stairs and the bottom. The poem certainly encapsulates the feelings of anxiety which go along with success (top of the stairs) or failure (bottom of the stairs). I’ve felt trapped there, in the middle of the staircase, with my father, for years. Perhaps we’re all halfway up or hallway down throughout our lives. However you experience your transition in your relationship with your narcissist, make sure to take care of yourself. Follow the coping mechanisms I’ve suggested and know life isn’t a movie with a great scripted ending. Emotions come in waves. Forgive people for yourself. Most of all, forgive yourself.”
Now is the time
It’s time to prepare and protect your mental, emotional & physical health. Talk to someone now. Talking to someone who’s familiar with narcissistic personality disorder can arm you with the necessary education, awareness, and strategies to get through the holidays unscathed.
The holidays are difficult for so many people, whether it’s a co-parenting issue or that family member who causes such problems. I can help you.
I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I have purpose in what I'm doing. I give people clarity, validation & comfort.
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.
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You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.