- Lynn Catalano
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Can I begin to heal from narcissistic abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is confusing and isolating. If you don’t address it, it bleeds into every aspect of your life affecting the way you show up.
As I stated in an earlier blog post: Emotional abuse doesn’t look like abuse at all. When you suffer manipulation, insults, conditioning, and gaslighting, it’s like being a frog in a pot of boiling water, you don’t feel the abuse until it’s too late. When you put the frog in the pot, the water is tepid. The increase in temperature is so gradual, that the frog doesn’t know what’s happening until it’s boiled alive. This is what narcissistic abuse feels like.
When we actually think about what’s happened to us, it’s often when we recount it to someone else. That’s when we realize how awful it is and how much we’re hurt. It’s important to note people who deal with narcissists regularly struggle with constant emotional pain.
Healing from long-term trauma takes time. Don’t stay in this kind of emotionally abusive relationship. It won’t get better. They won’t change. You don’t deserve this relationship.
You can and you will. It feels like you’ve spent the whole relationship walking on eggshells, more like walking on broken glass. It’s entirely possible to heal with professional help.
But remember, it takes patience, determination, and support
What are signs I’m healing?
Finally sleeping through the night without that dreaded 3 am wakeup
Recognizing the red flags of someone with narcissistic personality disorder and conversely realizing the hallmarks of a healthy relationship
Accepting – who they are and that they suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Understand they are much less likely to ever change.
7 Steps to Begin the Healing
Learn as much as you can about narcissistic personality disorder
Keep a journal
Surround yourself with a good support network
Find a community – a good support group
Work with a professional – a narcissistic abuse recovery coach
Establish Boundaries & go no-contact with your narcissist
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“Once you accept the narcissist will never change, there are things you need to do for yourself. Apply the concepts in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Live your life knowing no matter how other people act, you’re consistently impeccable with your word, and not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and always giving your best. This will help you maintain your good mental health and accept what you can change and what you cannot. Their bad behavior isn’t your fault. Focus on the good moments in your life.
Find ways to practice self-care. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” This means paying attention to you, keeping yourself healthy to the best of your ability.”
If you’ve suffered this type of relationship, it helps enormously to talk to someone. When you're in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to someone about your emotions and your trauma. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort. My program is results-oriented that’s quicker than therapy without extra analysis, just strategies to implement immediately. You could choose to do nothing and nothing will change or you make an investment in yourself. When is a good time to get started?
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.