It’s May and you know what that means, all of us without mothers have a rough go on Mother’s Day. Wait, I’m talking about me. It’s important to note that May is also Mental Health Awareness Month. What does this mean?
Take this as a sign. A sign that you no longer are willing to tolerate the narcissistic abuse, A sign that enough is enough. This is where you make your boundary, your personal limit.
Remember, these people likely suffer from narcissistic personality disorder but mental illness is never an excuse to be abusive.
The great news is that by recognizing this month as mental health awareness month, we are normalizing having open, honest conversations. These conversations allow us to show our vulnerability and talk about things happening to us that are not normal.
Recognize You’ve Suffered Narcissistic Abuse
The first step in recovery is recognizing the signs as to what happened and how it makes you feel. I wrote about this in a previous blog:
Constant state of fight or flight hypervigilance
Buildup of cortisol in your system which causes weight gain, sleep difficulties, and more
Difficulties setting healthy boundaries
Struggles with self-esteem and sense of self believing their worth is based on what they do not who they are
Neglects their own needs and wants
Seeks validation from taking care of others “people pleaser”
Fails to recognize healthy relationships and is attracted to toxic relationships
Feelings of anxiety, dread, depression, self-doubt, and insecurity when you have to interact with the toxic person.
Blaming yourself for issues in the relationship that aren’t your fault.
Your self-worth decreases the longer you’re in this relationship.
It takes years to undo the damage
Narcissistic abuse can include smear campaigns, emotional and verbal abuse, the silent treatment, and many other forms of manipulation, coercion, and control.
Break the stigma – Break the Cycle
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“This isn’t about someone who hurt you once and made a mistake. This is a pattern of repeated emotional abuse. You can forgive, as you break the cycle. Victims of narcissists are conditioned over time to accept emotional abuse and outright destructive behavior as normal. “That’s just dad. Sometimes he stops talking to me,” they say.
It’s not normal and it has a terrible impact on you. I’ve learned to deal with it, making my own corrections and adaptations as a result. I denied my feelings about abandonment, neglect, rejection, competition, and abuse most of my life. I always felt loved when I did what he wanted. Then I felt ignored unless he wanted something.
After everything I went through, I needed to give myself some grace. I may have made space for his mental illness, but I didn’t give much thought to the post-traumatic stress I suffered as a result. All I wanted was for him to act like my father and that was never going to happen. I needed to accept him for who he was, where he was while learning not to take things personally and set boundaries to protect myself.”
Contact Me to Begin the Healing Today
This is exactly why people hire me. Narcissistic abuse is unlike other forms of emotional abuse. People who haven’t survived this type of abuse rarely understand what you’ve experienced or how to help you.
After I suffered narcissistic abuse, I dug deep into the research and interviewed many different people who suffered in different ways. Then I wrote a guidebook. Since then, I’ve been coaching people 1:1 and just started a group program. Past clients say “Lynn helped me to find a path to good health, happiness, and forgiveness by showing me how to end this cycle of abuse and the relationships.”
Take this as a sign to do something for yourself today. If you’ve suffered this type of relationship, it helps enormously to talk to someone. When you're in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to someone about your emotions and your trauma. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort.
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.