Surviving Holiday Chaos With Your Narcissist

Take Back My Holidays

Why do narcissists ruin every holiday or special occasion?

This is such a prevalent, frequently asked question that we do an annual episode on the podcast I cohost with Hope Jay, Esq. – The Narcissist Slayers. Episode #36 comes out this week.

Narcissists have a very hard time at other people’s celebrations. They need to be the center of attention and of leadership and as a result they weaponize their aggression. Narcissists actually feel that these celebrations steal their own spotlight.   Some people say it’s because narcissists lack empathy. Others say they don’t feel comfortable in intimate relationships. But whichever is their reason, they always love to crush others' joy and happiness.

When it comes to a holiday or special occasion, narcissists consistently do the following:

1.    Create drama where there wasn’t any

2.    Show up late on purpose

3.    Get jealous of you spending time with other people (even if those are relatives you haven’t seen in a long time)

4.    Demand attention

5.    If they don’t receive the attention, recognition, praise, and envy they need (narcissistic supply) they go into a narcissistic rage storm.

I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.” 

“I try not to have regrets, but I’ve wasted too much time wishing and hoping my father would act like a father and grandfather. Holidays, vacations, special occasions, all were ruined. Their image is always more important than any other person and how their actions affect someone. I believe narcissists are criminals because they steal your precious time. They take away your hopes of ever having a normal relationship. They make every pleasant experience, holiday, special occasion, or vacation miserable simply because they can. It’s turds in the punch bowl every time they show up.”

Give Me the Playbook

If you want your holiday or special occasion to be peaceful, as hard as it is, you must do these things:

1.    Lower your expectations of the narcissist.  Don’t expect them to have empathy, they don’t.  Don’t expect them to show any deep concern for anyone else.

2.    They won’t ever see your perspective. Just stick to their script.

3.    Don’t start an argument.  You know their buttons, don’t push them.

4.    Be very careful not to humiliate them or challenge them. 

5.    Above all, don’t tell them what to do.  They will always do the opposite.

If you do the opposite of any of the above actions listed, the narcissist will have the necessary fuel to go into a narcissistic rage storm.  It’s not easy to stay on the narcissist’s script.  You will spend your time walking on eggshells around them just to avoid triggering them.  This isn’t sustainable for the long term but it’s only one holiday. Hopefully, your meal will be more peaceful and you won’t see any tantrums. 

Stop Letting Narcissists Hold Your Holidays Hostage

You know that sinking feeling when the holidays approach... wondering what they'll do THIS time to ruin everything. The manipulation. The guilt trips. The explosive fights that destroy what should be your family's most precious moments.

What if this year could be different?

Narcissists R.U.I.N. & Wreck Every Special Occasion reveals the insider psychological tactics that strip narcissists of their power over you—instantly. While they're still playing their same tired games, you'll be three steps ahead, calm and in complete control.

This isn't theory. It's a battle-tested system that shows you exactly how to:

• Shut down their manipulation before it starts

• Create bulletproof boundaries they can't cross

• Stay emotionally untouchable while they spiral

• Protect your children from their toxic behavior

• Finally enjoy holidays without walking on eggshells

Your family's peace is worth fighting for. Stop letting one person's dysfunction steal joy from everyone else.

This holiday season, you're either going to repeat the same painful cycle... or you're going to be the one who finally breaks it.

This is why it’s so important to talk to someone after you’ve suffered this type of abuse. But not just anyone. You need to find someone who’s familiar with narcissistic personality disorder. You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn't set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. When someone tells me about their struggles and their story, I’m not just understanding. I really get it. I’ve been there. I’ve felt those same emotions, that same rage, and loss.

Stop Them From Ruining This

You are the most important project you’ll ever work on. It’s time to invest in yourself the way you’ve invest in everyone else. Let’s start now. 

Don’t suffer in silence from narcissistic abuse, let’s talk.

Click here to book a free session with me. Don’t wait another day.

You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and lynncatalano.com.

If you’re looking for my Top 10 Answers to your Top 10 Questions about Narcissists, just go here.