- Lynn Catalano
What’s it like to be a victim of narcissistic abuse? Part 2
The whole experience of narcissistic abuse is disorienting and confusing. You’re faced with someone who you love, who you thought loved you, acting like a different person. A person who says and does horrible, cruel things. A few might be out of character, but what happens when it’s consistent, for years? I help people realize that they don’t have to be stuck in this emotional nightmare and that there’s a way out to protect their mental and emotional health in my mini course. Check it out here.
The 1st Big Silent Treatment
I always knew he was a professional at giving people the silent treatment as I’d seen him do it to other people my whole life. It was still a shock when he stopped speaking to me and pretended I didn’t exist. What people fail to realize is that when he did this, he also gave his only 2 grandchildren the silent treatment. They were young and didn’t understand why he was no longer present. What hurt me the most was that I was spinning from the deep sense of abandonment and the feeling of having no parents, no one. And all the while he was posting photos of himself on social media, seemingly living his best life.
All I ever wanted was for him to act like my father and my children’s grandfather. He just couldn’t.
The Deep Feelings of Abandonment
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“The Silent Treatment is a form of emotional abuse used by narcissists to hurt, control, and punish their victim. For the victim, there’s no way to resolve their issue or argument when the narcissist cuts off all communication. They’re the target of cruelty and subsequent abandonment.
It’s not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this treatment. It’s time for you to be treated with care and kindness. The first few times my father gave me the Silent Treatment, I felt confusion, abandonment, and rage. I listened to his deflections, his gaslighting, and his hollow apologies. I tried to protect myself the best I could. I exercised, ate right, even saw a professional therapist. I only wanted peace and did not attempt to retaliate. I didn’t seek revenge. I just wanted him to act like a father. We were on an unstoppable, emotional rollercoaster ride from one Silent Treatment to the next Silent Treatment climbing up steep inclines, hurtling straight downward, and careening around the corners. And to be perfectly honest, I hate rollercoasters.”
How did this feel?
I would leave his house feeling like a wrecking ball was in my brain. I felt severe loss and grief. I learned I couldn’t trust him. He continually lied to me to portray himself in a better light. I was caught in a cycle of confusion and rage. He never responded how a father should respond to their child.
If you’ve suffered this type of relationship, it helps enormously to talk to someone. When you're in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to someone about your emotions and your trauma. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now I coach people on their healing journey. I give people clarity, validation & comfort.
Learn more about me here: https://buff.ly/3wf6tgQ
Click here to book a free session with me. We’ll figure out if we work well together.
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.